I think i peed on brittanys purse
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
