when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
