You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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