Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
