don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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