His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
