if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
