And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
