Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
