I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
