Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
