We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
