break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
