Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
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