one two three fourrrrnication!
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Randomize