If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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