I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
