i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
A bitchslap is in order.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
