Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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