grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
