And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
