shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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