Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
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