So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
