I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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