no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
