he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
