she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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