Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
