My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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