$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
