I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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