I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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