And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
