She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
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