chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
