i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
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