I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
