Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize