goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
