Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I have tasted many bathrooms
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
