Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
