...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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