rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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