Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
