Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
