It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
