Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
