The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
