Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
