You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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