Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
