So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
