2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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