If that was your dad, he is hot
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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