Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
