oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
