Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
