I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
