we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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