i just snorted my name. best moment ever
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
