Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
