dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
How does one acquire holy water?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
