love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize