Hey man sorry I got all grabby
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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