dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
