I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
