that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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